It’s April! And it’s April 2024 at that, so we understand that plastering “Kick Me” signs on people’s backs or eating vanilla pudding while pretending it’s mayonnaise might seem a little outdated and overdone. But if you’re looking for fun, light-hearted April Fools’ pranks, here are some that your nearest cricket board* might suggest. Have fun!

1. Wait for a captain to step down. Appoint a new captain. Wait for the new captain to captain a bit, and just when you think he’s doing it, remove him. Appoint the old captain again. Make sure that, at all times, the joke is on both of them. You can pull out ingenious tactics like spreading misinformation about any statements they did or did not make, or, even better, release these statements when the concerned parties are asleep. It will be very funny and cool.

2. Whatever you do, keep politics out of cricket. That is not funny. But because you have clearly established that keeping politics out of cricket is what is Serious and Right, you can pull a funny little trick where you test just how much politics you can involve in cricket before anyone notices. If you play your cards right, you can reach a point where the Prime Minister is the chairman of the cricket board. If you’re really committed to the bit, you can make him the Test captain, too, as well as the captain of the women’s team. Maybe even the chief selector, though you might have to grapple a bit with Wahab Riaz for that, so make sure you tell him it’s a joke. Remember, this only works if you make it explicitly clear that you are clowning.

3. Hire a bunch of journalists. This may sound like too much investment for a joke, but bear with me. Make sure none of them ever say anything that can be substantiated. For every straightforward, factual statement, make sure they frame it in a way that makes at least twenty people angry and leaves a hundred more holding their heads in despair. Dispatch every piece of information with the hush-hush secrecy and implied simmering panic of leaking nuclear codes. It would be even better if they’re not supposed to have any of the information they’re spreading.

Every few days, make them tweet something like “Total sixes hit in Ramzan Tournament = 43, Total sixes hit by National Team in the powerplay on sunny days when the price of petrol is PKR 225 and a cat is sleeping in the dressing room = 17”, to really keep the flow of journalistic integrity going. Of course, this is all in good spirits. Remember, the joke is not you or them. The joke is journalism.

4. Announce a women’s league. Make plans for a women’s league, and start holding exhibition matches that are meant to be simulations of said women’s league. Then, you have to decide all on your own that the women’s league actually won’t happen, or at least decide that you won’t put any substantial effort into it. The joke here is that when you decide this, you don’t tell anyone else. Let everyone guess, and speculate, and mourn, and get reasonably angry. When asked to provide updates for the project you had said you would take up, say something ominous like “We Love Women” or “Leagues Are So Much Fun.” No one will be able to catch you because your front will just be that good.

*Note: These pranks only work if you have the institutional and monetary resources to be able to pull them. These are entirely fictional and made-up pranks suggested by an entirely fictional and made-up cricket board. For legal reasons, all of this is also a joke.